poetry

Scatter Poem

Compartmentalization is the term my
mother uses to explain what I’m doing
when I force every demon into a box
in my head and place it high on a shelf

where it will never see the light of my
consciousness. It makes me feel sligh-
tly better when I can’t properly feel at
all, and every bitter thought, every offense

taken, every brewing outrage is muted
and eventually “forgotten”, lost in the
rows and columns of other “forgotten”
negativities. It worked for many years

too long, until the boxes weighed
too much for the weak little shelf,
and they

t

u

m

b

l

e

d

down and spilled open, scattering

all of the badness I tried

so hard to keep locked up.

Rage feasted upon my heart

and fears devoured my thoughts

like so many ravenous

nightmares.

Try as I might to restore
order by scooping up the
runaway pity
and chasing after the

loathing,

the chaos

continued, leaving me

no choice but to address

the hurt
and betrayal
the pain
and jealousy
the resentment
and injustice
the fear
and doubts

that come with being

alive.

Only after I had been consumed
and spat out, my heart feeling
raw and naked —

vulnerable

could order be achieved;

Not because the demons
were contained, but because
I had finally set them

free.

—————————————————————————————————–

Written mostly for myself, but also for the Weekly Writing Challenge

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